Sunday, December 4, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

RESULTS FROM 8 NOV HAVE GIVEN US A TRULY - HAPPY THANKGIVING !!!

'Twas the night before the election, and in the Liberal House
Not a creature was working, not even their spouse;
No stockings were hung by the chimney with care, because they were hoping a Hillary Victory would soon be there;
The Hillary voters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While continued visions of free cell phones danced in their heads;
And mamma with her free healthcare, and unemployment benefits with no cap,
Had just settled down for another free winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the TV they flew like a flash,
Flipped on CNN hoping for more free cash.
Trump Won, please, say it aint so.
Hillary didn’t shatter the glass ceiling, oh no,
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a sign from Trump, they have to get a job next year,
With one election, so inspiring and quick,
America took away their Misses Saint Nick.
No more huge taxes for the working and spending pretty much insane, and they began whistling and shouting and calling people names;
"Now, Hillary! Now, Obama! Now, Franken and Reid! On, Pelosi! On Feinstein! On, Baucus and Biden! Out of Washington! We’re building a wall! Get the heck out of here, we just fired you all. @Thegrinch

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
A Hillary victory nipping at their nose
Hillary Cares, being sung by the choir
And Libs dressed up like God only knows
Everybody knows Hill and Bill won’t be under the Mistletoe
But they say it’s ok it’s alright
Hillary Robots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight
They know that Hillary is on her way
She's loaded lots of free toys and free entitlements on her sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna smile
When they use their free cell phone and they don’t even have to dial
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
For Hillary Robots from 1 to 92
Although it’s been said many times Many different ways
Merry Christmas, we just TRUMPED you... GOD BLESS ALL

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Gala Christmas Party

I hope no one has to suffer through all the PC that ends up going on here....


Always keep Christ in Christmas.


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director


TO: All Employees


DATE: November 1, 2015


RE: Gala Christmas Party


I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.


There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!


A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets.


This gathering is only for employees!


Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!


Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director


TO: All Employees


DATE: November 2, 2015


RE: Gala Holiday Party


In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.


However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.


There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.


We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.


Happy now?


Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director


TO: All Employees


DATE: November 3, 2015


RE: Holiday Party


Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name...


I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?


Somebody?


And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.


REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.


Patty


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director


To: All Employees


DATE: November 4, 2015


RE: Generic Holiday Party


What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.


There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?


Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.


Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.


Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.


To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.


We will have booster seats for short people.


Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.


I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.


There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!


Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty


Company Memo


FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director


TO: All F*%^ing Employees


DATE: November 5, 2015


RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party


I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.


But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!


The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!


Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!


Company Memo


FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director


DATE: November 6, 2015


RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party


I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her recent nervous breakdown and I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the asylum.


In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.


Happy Whatever!
Joan

Want a Free House

This is a story that was passed to me and now I wish to pass it in through my blog. And while it is an older story since it talks about the coming implementation of Obamacare, it's still relevant so long as the majority of America thinks government is a benevolent entity that is supposed to take care of them from the cradle to the grave.


Want a free house????


I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the coming implementation of the health care bill. I could not finish my breakfast. This is what ensued...


They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes. I heard a young man exclaim, "Isn't Obama like Jesus Christ? I mean, after all, he is healing the sick."


A young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, "Yeah, and he does it for free. I cannot believe anyone would think that a free market wouldn't work for health care."


Another said, "The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so they can inherit all of the power. Obama should be made a Saint for what he did for those of us less fortunate."


At this, I had more than enough. I arose from my seat, mustering all the restraint I could find, and approached their table. "Please excuse me; may I impose upon you for one moment?" They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation. I stood at the end of their table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.


"I would like to give one of you my house. It will cost you no money and I will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live there. Anyone interested?"


They looked at each other in astonishment. "Why would you do something like that?" asked a young man, "There isn't anything for free in this world."


They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just made my point.


"I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money whatsoever. Anyone interested?" In unison, a resounding "Yeah" fills the room.


"Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to who receives this money-free bargain."


I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle unfolding before their eyes, the old man shaking his head in apparent disgust.


"I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey my rules."


Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on their faces.


The perky young woman asked, "What are the rules?"


I smiled and said, "I don't know. I have not yet defined them. However, it is a free home that I offer you."


They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, "What an old coot. He must be crazy to give away his home. Go take your meds, old man."


I smiled and leaned into the table a bit further. "I am serious, this is a legitimate offer."


They gaped at me for a moment.


"I'll take it you old fool. Where are the keys?" boasted the youngest among them.


"Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then?" I asked. The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from the privacy of their table.


"Oh yeah! Where do I sign up?"


I took a napkin and wrote, "I give this man my home, without the burden of financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms that I shall set forth upon consummation of this transaction."


I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out his signature.


"Where are the keys to my new house?" he asked in a mocking tone of voice.


All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the keys from pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.


"Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all of your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated to adhere to from this point forward.


  1. You may only live in the house for one hour a day.
  2. You will not use anything inside of the home.
  3. You will obey me without question or resistance.
  4. I expect complete loyalty and admiration for this gift I bestow upon you.
  5. You will accept my commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the nature.
  6. Your morals and principles shall be as mine.
  7. You will vote as I do, think as I do and do it with blind faith.


These are my terms. Here are your keys." I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumbfounded.


"Are you out of your mind? Who would ever agree to those ridiculous terms?" the young man appeared irritated.


"You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding it and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only after you committed to the agreement."


The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him. I was looking at a now silenced and bewildered group of people.


"You can shove that stupid deal up your a** old man. I want no part of it!" exclaimed the now infuriated young man.


"You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your friends. You cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it. I do not intend to let you free now that I have you ensnared. I am the power you agreed to. I am the one you blindly and without thought chose to enslave yourself to. In short, I am your Master."


At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group against the unfairness of the deal. After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my true intent.


"What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you with the health care legislation. I easily suckered you in and then revealed the real cost of the bargain. Your folly was in the belief that you can have something you did not earn, and for that which you did not earn, you willingly allowed someone else to think for you. Your failure to research, study and inform yourself permitted reason to escape you. You have entered into a trap from which you cannot flee. Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives it to you. A freedom that is given can also be taken away. Therefore, it is not freedom at all."


With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished young man. "This is the nature of your new health care legislation."


I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation -- and was surprised by applause.


The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand enthusiastically and said, "Thank you, Sir. These kids don't understand Liberty ."


He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, "You earned this one. It is an honor to pick up the tab."


I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled and sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.


1. Remember... Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box.


2. THIS SHOULD GO AROUND THE UNITED STATES SO PEOPLE CAN SEE JUST WHAT IS GOING ON. MAYBE EVEN THE POLITICALLY BLIND ONES WILL LEARN SOMETHING FROM IT.


"Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the American Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian." - Henry Ford

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Who died before they collected Social Security

The only thing wrong with the government's calculation of available social security is they forgot to figure in the people who died before they ever collected a social security check!!!

So... Where did that money go????

Remember, not only did you and I contribute to Social Security but your employer did, too.

It totaled 15% of your income before taxes. 

If you averaged only $30K over your working life, that's close to $220,500.

Read that again.

Did you see where the Government paid in one single penny?

We are talking about the money you and your employer put in a Government bank to insure you and I that we would have a retirement check from the money we put in, not the Government. Now they are calling the money we put in "AN ENTITLEMENT" when we reach the age to take it back even though it’s historically been an “earned benefit”.

If you calculate the future invested value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer's contribution) at a simple 5% interest (less than what the Government pays on the money that it borrows), after 49 years of working you'd have $892,919.98. If you took out only 3% per year, you'd receive $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years (until you're 95 if you retire at age 65) and that's with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit!

If you bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you'd have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month.

A quote from a retired woman: “Another thing with me.... I have two deceased husbands who died in their 50's, one was 51 and the other one was 59 before one percent of their social security could be drawn. I worked all my life and am drawing 100% on my own social security. Their S.S. money will never have one cent drawn from what they paid into S.S. all their lives.”

THE FOLKS IN WASHINGTON HAVE PULLED OFF A BIGGER PONZI SCHEME THAN BERNIE MADOFF EVER DID.

Entitlement my foot, I paid cash for my social security insurance! Just because they borrowed the money for other government spending, doesn't make my benefits some kind of charity or handout!!

Remember Congressional benefits?

--- free healthcare, outrageous retirement packages, 67 paid holidays, three weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days.

Now that's welfare, and they have the nerve to call my social security retirement payments entitlements?!?!?!?

We're "broke" and we can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, or Homeless. Yet in the last few months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile and Turkey. And now Pakistan...... home of bin Laden.

Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

And they can't help our own citizens in New York and New Jersey!

They call Social Security and Medicare an entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives, and now, when it's time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the government borrow from it in the first place? It was supposed to be in a locked box, not part of the general fund. Sad isn't it.

Which side of the fence

If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
 
If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
 
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
 
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
 
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him.
 
If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A Democrat demands that those they don't like be shut down.
 
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
 
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
If a A Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Living with Less

Welcome to the 21st Centry

  • Our phones - wireless
  • Cooking - fireless
  • Cars - keyless
  • Food - fatless
  • Tires - tubless
  • Dress - sleeveless
  • Youth - jobless
  • Leaders - shameless
  • Relationships - meaningless
  • Attitude - careless
  • Wives - fearless
  • Babies - fatherless
  • Feelings - heartless
  • Education - valueless
  • Children - mannerless

Everything is becoming LESS, but still our hopes are - endless

In fact, we are - speechless

And Congress is - clueless

And our President is - WORTHLESS

A Poem Worth Reading

I wish I could take credit for this poem, but I’m no poet. This was sent to me by a fellow veteran and now I share it with you. All I ask is that you share this with everyone you know in memory of a veteran.

He was getting old and paunchy
And his hair was falling fast,
And he sat around the Legion,
Telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he once fought in
And the deeds that he had done,
In his exploits with his buddies;
They were heroes, every one.

And 'tho sometimes to his neighbors
His tales became a joke,
All his buddies listened quietly
For they knew where of he spoke.

But we'll hear his tales no longer,
For ol' Joe has passed away,
And the world's a little poorer
For a Veteran died today.

He won't be mourned by many,
Just his children and his wife.
For he lived an ordinary,
Very quiet sort of life.

He held a job and raised a family,
Going quietly on his way;
And the world won't note his passing,
'Tho a Veteran died today.

When politicians leave this earth,
Their bodies lie in state,
While thousands note their passing,
And proclaim that they were great.

Papers tell of their life stories
From the time that they were young
But the passing of a Veteran
Goes unnoticed, and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution
To the welfare of our land,
Some jerk who breaks his promise
And cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow
Who in times of war and strife,
Goes off to serve his country
And offers up his life?

The politician's stipend
And the style in which he lives,
Are often disproportionate,
To the service that he gives.

While the ordinary Veteran,
Who offered up his all,
Is paid off with a medal
And perhaps a pension, small.

It is not the politicians
With their compromise and ploys,
Who won for us the freedom
That our country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger,
With your enemies at hand,
Would you really want some cop-out,
With his ever waffling stand?

Or would you want a Veteran
His home, his country, his kin,
Just a common Veteran,
Who would fight until the end.

He was just a common Veteran,
And his ranks are growing thin,
But his presence should remind us
We may need his likes again.

For when countries are in conflict,
We find the Veteran's part
Is to clean up all the troubles
That the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor
While he's here to hear the praise,
Then at least let's give him homage
At the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline
In the paper that might say:
"OUR COUNTRY IS IN MOURNING,
A VETERAN DIED TODAY."

PLEASE pass On The Patriotism! YOU can make a difference. If you are proud of our Vets, then send this to them. You'll be glad you did. Then send it to ALL your friends. Thank you and GOD bless you.